Ranching Defined

A man said to the Universe: "Sir, I exist!"

"However," replied the Universe, "the fact has not created in me a sense of obligation."

(Steven Crane, WAR IS KIND)

COW

A digestive tract, pierced at both ends. Rarely gives birth or milk.

BULL

1,800 pounds of dubious genetic potential. $6,000 of sterility and lameness.

CALF

80 pounds of hope when born; 500 pounds of disappointment when sold.

DOG, (your...